Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Let's try this again...

FINALLY got my lab results back from the bloodwork. I gave blood last Tuesday.. it was painful for some reason.... ANYWAYS, I finally got my results in and we are at a progesterone level of 19.4 which is good...not great because we are shooting for 20 but still we are very close. This round of TRIPLE CLOMID wasn't successful so I go in on Friday to get another round of TRIPLE. On double doses I thought my breast were going to explode out of my shirts but amazingly on TRIPLE that didn't happen. Don't know why... but I am not complaining either. HOWEVER triple dosage did make me very emotional.... not towards Ken but towards pregnant women and babies. I would find myself staring at pregnant girls just walking by in Target or HEB. I would be jealous of young parents with their babies. I felt like my nose was being rubbed into the fact that I have not reached that milestone in my life. I would get angry too. It got to the point that I would count out loud in stores how many times I would see a pregnant person or a baby. I would do it right in front of them too. Ken thought I was crazy...not to mention the pregnant girls that would walk by and I would say "5" out loud because they just happened to be the fifth one on my crazy list. As silly as it sounds it made me feel better to do that. You don't really realize how many pregnant people or babies are out their until that is the one thing you desire most in your life. I compare it to a new car...once you get your new car you think your the only one that has one and then you start driving around and notice that you aren't the only one who has one... several people have one... I kind of feel like that but I don't have the new car yet and every one with a new car keeps parking in my personal space. I know I am crazy!!!
ps ~ (unless Ken reads the blog ...which he doesn't... he doesn't know I am telling the worls this)... becaue we have done 3 months of clomid with no pregnancy he has to leave a little deposit next week... keep him in your thoughts... he is very nervous... I don't know why... I love him sooo much.

TODAY I am THANKFUL for dusting.
After dusting my dresser I found Ken's wedding ring. It was hidden under a music box thingy on my dresser. He had been missing it for weeks now and we had already bought him a new one. Now you know that I don't dust very often BUT I DON'T CARE I found Ken's ring.


Anonymous said...

Hang in there girl!
You have a wonderful guy.
He's a "keeper."
Luvs You Both,
~*~ Aunt Linda ~*~