Friday, August 29, 2008

Prayers needed!!!

Last night, we got a phone call from our social worker, Jan that was a phone call you do not want to get. It was around 9 o’clock and I was home alone because Ken was out getting gas and some groceries we needed. Anyways the phone rang and I answered it, immediately Jan said is Ken there and I replied no, knowing that something was wrong. Thoughts were racing through my head and I kept thinking surely our birth mom didn’t pull out and change her mind. Jan continued to explain that the birth father is now interested in raising the baby. The thing is… is there are 2 possible birth fathers and so we are in a MAJOR dilemma. The other possible birth father is in Arizona and has already signed his rights away. The one that wants to be involved now is in Houston and is newly married and already has a 2 year old with his NEW wife. Needless to say I was numb… I didn’t know how to feel. I honestly felt like I was going to throw up and then I started thinking … How am I suppose to tell Ken this. I went into the bathroom… yes with the phone… still listening to Jan because I thought I was going to puke. Ken then walked in and I just handed him the phone. Jan repeated everything to him and I called my parents to come over. Our world was turned up side down by one phone call. I was flooded with emotions… I for some reason am embarrassed (don’t know why but I am… even though all of my friends tell me that is ridiculous I am), I am sad because of the obvious, upset and confused because I thought all our “ducks were in a row” with paperwork and what not at the agency, and most of all I am just confused on how to feel. Ken says we pray for the best but prepare ourselves for the worse. Here is what is going to happen….

When the baby is born (we will not be there.. which we were going to be there before this BUT have decided to opt out just in case it turns out that the dad is Houston)… The baby will have a DNA test and will go into foster care for about 5 days (this breaks my heart but at the same time he will be in foster care with someone from the agency). When the DNA test comes back we will either be told come get your baby or sorry Houston is the dad.

We are just asking that you keep us in your thoughts and prayers. We are keeping the faith that whatever is meant to be will be. We are so hoping that Arizona is the dad and know in the end that we are not in control. If this baby boy is not our Drew we know that our Drew is out there somewhere.

I also need to say thank you so much to my dear friends and family (love you mom and dad and Susie) for staying up with me last night so I could boo whoo with you and for not mentioning it at school today. It was very hard BUT I made it all day without crying BUT lost it at the end of the day (after all the kids were gone). Once again my friends were there to pick me up (not literally) and give me encouragement. We will get through this believe me we have been through worse.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers all of you are dear to us. WE LOVE YOU!!!

7 comments:

Linda B said...

Mags,
I LOVE YOU!
Tell your Mom and Dad to give you and Ken a great big hug from your Aunt Linda. Keep your head up . . . if it is the Lord's will that this little one is Drew then everything will work out for the best.
Love You Two Bunches!!!

Anonymous said...

We will be thinking of ya'll with fingers and toes crossed for the best.

XOXO, The Pabis Cooper-Pabis House

Kristin L. said...

Maggie,

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. And remember Phillipians 4:13 - "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!" I love you so much and I pray that God's will be done in this situation.

<>< Krissy

Nicole said...

I am so, so sorry! I got teary eyed reading your blog because I KNOW the painful desire for a baby and how scared and helpless you guys must feel right now...God knows your heart, and knows you will be amazing parents...He will give you the baby that you've been praying for! I will be saying prayers for you!

Carol from AIM said...

Please call me or e-mail me if you need to vent and talk to someone. I'm thinking about you and praying for ya'll.

Carol

Aunt Deb said...

Maggie and Ken,
It sounds like you have a lot of support surrounding you. Prayers can get you through anything - believe me! You know Hannah in the old testament was barren and God gave her a son, Samuel. Elizabeth and Sarah, also...it seemed impossible, but with God all things are possible...one way or another. You are in my prayers and that's for sure. Your baby is coming! Love you. Aunt Deb

Coney and Mickey said...

You guys are in our thoughts and prayers.